“Immaturity.”
A constant reminder of the athlete I used to be: bent over, defeated, broken, and no purpose.
A constant confirmation of the path I am on, and the struggles I endure.
Birthdays often present an opportunity to look back and reminisce on what the past year (or years) have turned out like. Upon rowing my active recovery row this morning, I decided to use that time to reflect on the past year - afterall, it has been a crazy year, and I’ve encountered the most growth in a year as an individual than I ever have before.
Some growth highlights from 2012 that stand out among the rest:
- Finishing 14th at the 2012 Canada West CrossFit Games Regionals, when I had zero expectations. Further fuelling my fire for this year to fully explore my capabilities.
- Landing sponsorship from Real Xtreme RX, a stellar clothing company out of British Columbia, that would develop into a great business relationship as well.
- CrossFit FUNCTION - the apple of my eye. Buying out my business partner and overtaking the company. Building my brand, and continuing to build my business to grow more in the past four months than it did in two years. Strengthening the family bond within the black & yellow walls. Adding more employees. More equipment. Expansion. All things that didn’t seem like reality until I listened to my heart.
These highlights are things I replay in my head to reassure myself I’ve chosen the right path. That I’m not a kid anymore, and I’m capable of being only twenty-four (soon twenty-five) and owning a successful business.
And on that note, it also came to me that I’ve learned a lot, and I can group these into a list of twenty-five important ones.
“There are certain kinds of people that are purely driven. I can tell who they are simply by looking at them. I have faced so much criticism for my drive that at times it has alienated me from the majority: the people who are comfortable with second place, the people who hate against me because I am not. You know these kinds of people; they are the ones who fear winning, the jealous ones who envy and try to sabotage. They are the people who have been telling me I couldn’t win all my life. Many times my drive to succeed has put me on an island all by myself because no one understood me, or they chose to misunderstand me. They chose to portray me as being something that I was not. I have learned that it is OK for me to be me, and what being me entails. It means that I will not rest; I will not sleep, relax, relent or be satisfied until my goals have been met, the challenges answered and my doubters silenced. I will not give in to my foes; I won’t let down my teammates. I won’t stop inspiring those who look up to me or stop giving motivation to those who motivate me. I will not back off until I’m back on top, back in the place where they say I could never be again.”
Kobe Bryant
believe | achieve
I’ve had these words tattooed on my wrists for three years now. It started out as a way to motivate myself - knowing that if I believe in myself, I will achieve the things I want. They’ve always been there; carefully placed so I always see them. A constant reminder that I am worth it.
I’ve never really been tested like I was these past five weeks.It’s something that I’ve taken for granted, without realizing it. After Regionals finished last year, I set my mind on “I want to finish in the top 10 after the Open,” but it was more a hope than it felt a tangible goal. Or at least how I recognized it at that moment when the words escaped my mind.
Fast forward through the 2013 Open, and I finished in 8th place in Canada West, achieving my “hope goal.” It took 13.1 for me to realize (and understand) that this was more than just a “hope”. That if I truly believed in myself, top 10 would be achievable.
What matters more to me is not what the final outcome numbers say, or where my name lies on the leaderboard (although, it is nice to see it where it is). What matters more to me is the lessons that I learned; that even four years into this, I still can feel like a naive and inexperienced athlete sometimes.
I learned what a true 100% capacity feels like - going out there and just throwing your heart on the floor for everybody to see. I learned that in failure there is always a lesson, but you need to choose to accept it and learn from it. I learned how to deal with failure in front of all of my clients - something I will admit that I feared the most. I learned about grace, and what makes second chances worthy.
And most importantly, I saw what it really means to believe in myself. That I’m capable of this just as they are; that I deserve to play too.
believe | achieve has always just been my “thing”. The biggest realization over the past five weeks was understanding that I finally put meaning to something that became apparent was just a concept.
And that’s what I love about what we do: growth. Not just as an athlete, in this moment, with this particular event; but as an individual. The barbell really does teach you a thing or two about yourself. You just have to let it.
“This my dear, is called GRACE!”
“Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they’ve been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It’s a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.”
Muhammad Ali
(via myignition)
- Via
- myignition
“Revisit your why…. and reconnect with the pleasure of desire and let go of the expectation of a certain outcome. Using failure as fertilizer, get up with a smile after the teacher has knocked you down, bow with gratitude for the reminder and the lesson, and take another step…This my dear is called GRACE!”
“Have you ever thought that maybe the pressure you put upon yourself is a block for you to perform the way you actually can? .. You write these words like “trust” and “believe” to motivate yourself, but do you actually trust yourself to do what we all know you can do? .. You need to let go. You need to stop thinking about where you want to go and just (fucking) go there. Stop thinking you have to be the best, and just go out there and kick ass, and you know what, you will be the best. You’re holding on to some mental baggage that you need to lose, these workouts don’t define you Taryn, what you do in life defines you, and you’re completely superior at that.”
Just needed to find a positive in a negative.
A little inspiration to keep with me always.
#StayStrong
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
Constant reminder that it comes from within.
