“Immaturity.”
A constant reminder of the athlete I used to be: bent over, defeated, broken, and no purpose.
A constant confirmation of the path I am on, and the struggles I endure.
Posts tagged CrossFit
believe | achieve
I’ve had these words tattooed on my wrists for three years now. It started out as a way to motivate myself - knowing that if I believe in myself, I will achieve the things I want. They’ve always been there; carefully placed so I always see them. A constant reminder that I am worth it.
I’ve never really been tested like I was these past five weeks.It’s something that I’ve taken for granted, without realizing it. After Regionals finished last year, I set my mind on “I want to finish in the top 10 after the Open,” but it was more a hope than it felt a tangible goal. Or at least how I recognized it at that moment when the words escaped my mind.
Fast forward through the 2013 Open, and I finished in 8th place in Canada West, achieving my “hope goal.” It took 13.1 for me to realize (and understand) that this was more than just a “hope”. That if I truly believed in myself, top 10 would be achievable.
What matters more to me is not what the final outcome numbers say, or where my name lies on the leaderboard (although, it is nice to see it where it is). What matters more to me is the lessons that I learned; that even four years into this, I still can feel like a naive and inexperienced athlete sometimes.
I learned what a true 100% capacity feels like - going out there and just throwing your heart on the floor for everybody to see. I learned that in failure there is always a lesson, but you need to choose to accept it and learn from it. I learned how to deal with failure in front of all of my clients - something I will admit that I feared the most. I learned about grace, and what makes second chances worthy.
And most importantly, I saw what it really means to believe in myself. That I’m capable of this just as they are; that I deserve to play too.
believe | achieve has always just been my “thing”. The biggest realization over the past five weeks was understanding that I finally put meaning to something that became apparent was just a concept.
And that’s what I love about what we do: growth. Not just as an athlete, in this moment, with this particular event; but as an individual. The barbell really does teach you a thing or two about yourself. You just have to let it.
“This my dear, is called GRACE!”
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
Constant reminder that it comes from within.
Perspective is everything. I remember 185# back squats being a total mind block for me; failing every single time at that number. This week I PR’ed with 4x230# right after 13.3. I remember not long ago a 125# snatch being something that seemed so distant. 150# this week over my head.
See the hurdle in front of you - jump it. Look ahead at the next hurdle. Jump it too. Don’t. Stop. Attacking.
These hurdles will continue to come at you; they’re infinite. You won’t get stopped in your tracks unless you choose to.
And I choose not to. Put it out in front of me, and you’ll have to hold me back. I’ve got that will; that desire. I want it more than you do.
believe. achieve.
That’s the difference one year makes. TRUST - the word written under my rings last year during 12.4. TRUST - meaning, I didn’t trust myself to get up over the rings. Achieving those muscle-ups were only something I half believed in. Last year I finished with four muscle-ups, and seven attempts.
This year as 13.3 was released, I knew it was going to be different. I was frothing at the mouth to get after this one as soon as it was released.
Every moment of struggle is worth it.
Remember that.
And the next five weeks are going to be a measure of that. No better time to prove it to myself than now.
“You need to lose a few times, need to lick your wounds and taste your own blood, need to sit in silence in the locker room of another lost season wondering what went wrong, and then you need to say, ‘Never again, not ever. I am not letting this happen again.”
-ESPN’s Bill Simmons, which described the killer instinct elite NBA stars need to truly be great.
“
As I patiently wait in the shadows, I see my competition offering deals and discounts of a fading service.
A sub standard program, in a sub standard facility; a covalent bonding of disparate individuals with a singular focus with no focus.
Professionals never sell or get sold short of the mark they deserve to appease the ebb and flow of an attention shallow market.
The market will ebb and flow and come and go but constance and greatness will always stand quietly.
Waiting and planning, preparing itself and improving itself for the providing of value to an already admired and excellent service.
This is the mark of professional marksmanship. This is the mark of excellence.
”
Eric Pelletier, CrossFit Overcome
You can deal with almost any “what”, when you have a more compelling “why”.
One of my clients at FUNCTION asked me last night, “How do you stay motivated?” It’s no doubt a feeling that we all experience at some point or another. And with no doubt, there are early mornings where I’d rather turn over in bed, than bear the cold and trudge to the gym.
When the times get tough, I just think of my “WHY”: Only completing 7 muscle-ups in the last workout of the 2012 Regionals. Failing rep after rep. How that moment made me feel. The disappointment in myself that resonated through me; the pressure to perform in front of my Coach, the pressure I put on myself to keep up with everyone else around me.
In that moment, I knew I wanted to come back next year with nothing able to keep me at the back of the pack.
That’s my “WHY”. That moment. Those feelings. How vivid it all is when I look at pictures like this. That’s what flashes through me when I feel I can’t pick up the bar, or row a little harder, or do just one more round.
What’s your “WHY”?
